Question

example unelaborated paragraphs writing check - up period 7 date 10/13/20 english i unelaborated means not enough details and information. see how the student added more details in each of their supporting details (sd) to revise their writing into a stronger paragraph. a the third grade went to the aquarium. we saw lots of fish. we had lunch. the bus ride was fun. it was a very memorable field trip! expand ts. (when?) sd1: vary vocabulary (lots, fish) expand sd2 (when? where?) sd2: vary vocabulary (fun) expand sd3 (why?) last week, the third grade went to the aquarium. we saw multiple interesting sea creatures. later, we had lunch outside at the picnic tables. the bus ride back to school was enjoyable because we sang songs. it was a very memorable field trip! your turn fix the writing on the left with additional information and descriptive details—add more details like who, what, where, when, why, and how. unelaborated paragraph students take classes at hoover high school. some classes include math, science, and english class. students can take other electives. high school is different than middle school. students learn to be responsible in their classes. after high school, they use those skills. your revision (use the backside for more room)

Explanation:

Added details about who the students are (e.g., fresh - men, sophomores etc.), when classes are held (e.g., during specific semesters), why high school is different (e.g., more complex curriculum), how students learn responsibility (e.g., through projects and assignments). Also, elaborated on the types of electives.

Answer:

During the fall and spring semesters, a diverse group of freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors take classes at Hoover High School. Core classes such as advanced placement math, laboratory - based science, and literature - focused English are offered in well - equipped classrooms. The science classes often include hands - on experiments with state - of - the - art equipment. Electives range from creative writing, which allows students to express their literary ideas, to computer programming, where they learn coding languages like Python. High school is different from middle school in that the curriculum is more complex, with in - depth research projects in English and multi - step problem - solving in math. Students learn to be responsible in their classes by managing deadlines for group projects and individual assignments. After high school, they use these organizational and time - management skills in college or the workforce.