QUESTION IMAGE
Question
read the excerpt from sameers letter to his state legislature about funding for music education at his school.
musical training has many benefits, such as helping students think better.
which is the best revision of the underlined portion of the sentence?
such as teaching students to solve problems creatively.
such as making students smarter and quicker.
such as encouraging students to think in all kinds of ways.
no change
Analyze the rhetorical context
The excerpt is from a letter written by Sameer to his state legislature. A letter to public officials requires a formal, professional, and persuasive tone. The original underlined phrase, "such as helping students think better," uses vague and informal language ("think better") that is not suited for a formal legislative proposal. We need to apply Sentence Revision to elevate the academic and professional quality of the sentence.
Evaluate the options for word choice and tone
We must examine each option using our understanding of Word Choice and formal writing style:
- "such as teaching students to solve problems creatively": This option uses precise, academic verbs ("solve problems") and adverbs ("creatively") that clearly articulate a cognitive benefit of music education in a professional tone.
- "such as making students smarter and quicker": This phrasing is highly colloquial and informal. Words like "smarter" and "quicker" lack the academic precision needed for a legislative letter.
- "such as encouraging students to think in all kinds of ways": The phrase "all kinds of ways" is wordy, vague, and informal.
- "no change": The original "think better" is too informal and simplistic for this context.
Select the best revision
The first option, "such as teaching students to solve problems creatively," is the most precise, formal, and effective revision for a letter to a state legislature.
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- such as teaching students to solve problems creatively. (Correct answer)
- such as making students smarter and quicker.
- such as encouraging students to think in all kinds of ways.
- no change