QUESTION IMAGE
Question
read the body paragraphs of an argumentative essay.
national parks are totally important in the economy. each park creates opportunities for tourism. millions of visitors travel to national parks. for example, almost 3.5 million visitors went to yellowstone park in wyoming in 2012. these visitors need tons of services, which creates job opportunities for local residents. so, it’s obvious that national parks play an important role in the economy.
how could this excerpt be best improved?
○ the writer could make the tone more academic.
○ the writer could make the tone more informal.
○ the writer could change viewpoints on the topic.
○ the writer could include more transitions.
The excerpt uses informal phrases like "totally important" and "tons of services," which are not appropriate for an argumentative essay. An academic tone requires precise, formal language to strengthen the argument's credibility. Changing the tone to be more academic would improve the essay's structure and persuasiveness.
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The writer could make the tone more academic.